However, some personal relations have survived even in this climate of tension. It is that which drives me from time to time to converse with my colleague whom I shall call “Mr. Smith”. Constructive dialogue after all is the cornerstone of good relations. Dialogue leaves a positive impression on the soul.

We discussed my last article “Women Still Find Themselves Marginalized in Our Society.” Mr. Smith found that while much of it was accurate, it showed American culture in a negative light. He wondered, “Why does everyone, Saudis and Americans, contribute to the process of destruction rather than participate in the construction? Who is harmed? It is first and foremost ordinary people like you and me. Politicians are untouchable; they are protected in their fortresses. Ordinary people fight with each other while politicians live the good life. We must stand together as one in the media and in politics.”

I told Mr. Smith that Arab and Saudi authors in particular struggle with many crises and battle a number of authorities. We all know very well that most of what is published or broadcast is censored. We don’t enjoy the freedom of ideas that you do. As for the Arabs’ negative attitude, it is the result of years of defeats and setbacks. The Arab citizen is constantly reminded that he is a consumer rather than a producer. Every Arabic writer is fighting a losing battle. If he criticizes Arabs, he gains the respect of the West who call him balanced and objective, but he gets criticized by Arabs who think he is currying favor with the West. If on the other hand you criticize Western politics, you gain acceptance from your own people but in the West you are called extremist or fanatic.

What about the present conservative influence in American foreign policy? How wide-reaching is that influence? Where have they been hiding all these years? When I reminded Mr. Smith of them, he became annoyed and said hotly: “The conservatives have been around since the day the US was established, just like the conservatives in your society who try to direct government business. Circumstances are such that they have power today because of members of George W. Bush’s administration. This sticks in the gut of every liberal American. If you feel sad that your nation is marginalized, I am even sadder because all that America has fought for — democracy, freedom of opinion, equality and justice for all — is being destroyed and crushed today in the name of security and with the excuse of fighting forces against terrorism. No one knows when this black cloud will finally disappear.”

I answered that the dark cloud would disappear once the current American administration was no longer in power. The Arab nation’s crisis, however, is more serious since authority for Arabs is linked to a tight grip on power all the way to the grave — whether in companies, organizations or government.

There was total silence as we thought about this. And so once again, Mr. Smith and I agree on various points; friendship protects us from hate and forces us to keep the channels of communication open. We both sincerely hope that we, and all of humanity, will one day enjoy a world in which peace, justice and freedom truly prevail.

— Wajeha Al-Huwaider holds an MA in Reading Management from George Washington University. She is based in the Eastern Province.

— Editor’s Note: This column was written before the Riyadh blasts.